Is It Normal to Have Doubts About Your Relationship? Understanding the Common Concerns

Understanding Doubts in Relationships

Okay, so we're diving into something super common: doubts in relationships. I reckon everyone has them at some point, right? It's like, you're cruising along, and then BAM! A little voice pops up in your head, whispering, 'Is this really it?' Let's unpack why that happens.

Stress Response

Think of doubt as your brain's slightly overzealous alarm system. Big changes, like getting serious with someone, can trigger a stress response. It's your mind trying to prepare you for potential curveballs. You might find yourself worrying about whether you'll actually like their family or if you're on the same page about, say, finances. It's normal to feel a bit wobbly when you're stepping into the unknown.

Self-Sabotage

Ever feel like you're about to ruin something good? Yeah, that's self-sabotage creeping in. Sometimes, we have these deep-seated beliefs that we don't deserve happiness, or that things are bound to go wrong. So, we subconsciously pick at the relationship, creating problems where they might not even exist. It's like we're testing the waters, waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you notice doubt in your relationship is a recurring theme, it might be worth exploring those underlying beliefs.

Past Experiences

Our past relationships can seriously mess with our present ones. If you've been hurt before, it's natural to be a bit guarded. You might project past traumas onto your current partner, even if they're nothing like your ex. It's like you're constantly scanning for red flags, even when there aren't any. It's important to recognise these patterns and try to separate the past from the present.

Past hurts can cast a long shadow, but they don't have to define your future. Acknowledging how your previous experiences shape your current doubts is the first step towards breaking free from those patterns.

The Impact of Doubts on Your Relationship

Okay, so you're having doubts. It happens. But what does it actually do to your relationship? It's not just a little niggle in the back of your mind; it can have a real ripple effect. Let's get into it.

Emotional Turmoil

Honestly, doubts are exhausting. They can lead to a constant state of anxiety, not just for you, but for your partner too. You might find yourself overthinking every interaction, questioning every decision, and generally feeling on edge. It's like living with a low-level hum of unease that never quite goes away. And that takes a toll. Self-doubt can create a need for constant validation, making your partner feel responsible for your emotions. This can overshadow the positive aspects of your relationship and can turn a healthy relationship into one rooted in insecurity and instability. Have you ever felt like you're walking on eggshells, afraid to say or do the wrong thing? That's often doubt at work.

Communication Breakdown

When doubts creep in, open and honest communication often goes out the window. You might start avoiding difficult conversations, fearing they'll only confirm your worries. Or, you might become passive-aggressive, hinting at your concerns without directly addressing them. Either way, it creates a barrier between you and your partner. Consider looking at it this way; can I express my doubts and have a conversation about them? Do I fear being vulnerable? Can we navigate this kind of conflict in a healthy way?

Trust Issues

Perhaps the most damaging impact of doubt is the erosion of trust. When you're constantly questioning the relationship, it's hard to fully trust your partner, and vice versa. You might start looking for signs that confirm your doubts, interpreting neutral actions as evidence of something more sinister. This can lead to a vicious cycle of suspicion and mistrust that's incredibly difficult to break. Trust is the bedrock of any strong relationship, and doubt can chip away at it until there's nothing left. If you're experiencing fear of ending a relationship, it's important to address these feelings openly and honestly with your partner.

Recognising When Doubts Are Unhealthy

Okay, so we've established that doubts in relationships are pretty normal, right? Like a slightly burnt toast – not ideal, but still edible. But what happens when the toast is charcoal? That's when we need to take a step back and figure out if our doubts are actually unhealthy. It's not always easy to tell, is it? Sometimes, it feels like you're just being cautious, but other times, it's like your brain is trying to sabotage something good. Let's try to untangle this a bit.

Healthy Doubts

Healthy doubts? What even are those? Well, I reckon they're the kind that nudge you to think critically about your relationship without spiralling into full-blown panic. Maybe you're wondering if you and your partner have the same long-term goals, or if you're truly compatible in the bedroom. These are valid questions that deserve exploration. It's about challenging negative thoughts and ensuring you're both on the same page, not tearing each other apart. It's like questioning whether you've locked the front door – a responsible check, not a sign of impending doom.

Unhealthy Doubts

Now, unhealthy doubts... that's a whole different kettle of fish. These are the doubts that consume you, that make you question every little thing your partner does, that leave you feeling anxious and insecure all the time. They often stem from deeper issues, like low self-esteem or past traumas. Do you find yourself constantly needing reassurance? Are you always suspicious, even when there's no real reason to be? These could be signs that your doubts are becoming toxic. It's like constantly checking the front door, even though you know you locked it – a sign of anxiety, not responsibility.

Patterns of Doubt

Have you noticed a pattern? Do you always have these doubts in every relationship? If so, it might not be about your current partner at all. It could be something you need to work on within yourself. Maybe it's a fear of commitment, or a deep-seated belief that you're not worthy of love. Whatever it is, recognising the pattern is the first step to breaking it. It's like realising you always burn the toast because your toaster is faulty – time to fix the toaster, not just blame the bread. Consider whether doubt in your relationship is a recurring theme.

It's important to remember that everyone experiences doubts at some point. The key is to distinguish between healthy questioning and unhealthy obsession. If your doubts are consistently causing you distress, it might be time to seek some professional help. You deserve to be happy and secure in your relationship, and sometimes, that means getting a little extra support.

Talking About & Working Through Your Doubts

Okay, so you've got these niggling doubts. What now? Ignoring them won't make them vanish, trust me, I've tried. The key is to actually do something with them. Easier said than done, I know, but let's break it down.

Opening Up to Your Partner

Right, deep breaths. Talking about your doubts is scary, like, really scary. But honestly, bottling them up is way worse. Think of it like this: you're both on the same team, right? You can't win if you're keeping secrets. I remember once, I was convinced my partner was secretly annoyed by my terrible singing in the shower. Turns out, he hadn't even noticed! Sometimes, the things we worry about are completely different from reality.

• Choose the right time and place. Don't ambush them after a stressful day at work.

• Be honest, but kind. There's a difference between "I think you're a terrible person" and "I'm feeling a bit insecure about this".

• Listen to their response. It's a conversation, not a monologue.

Finding Common Ground

So, you've talked. Great! Now what? Well, hopefully, you've both gained a bit of insight into each other's perspectives. The next step is to find some common ground. Are there any shared concerns? Any areas where you both feel a bit wobbly? Maybe you both feel like you need to strengthen communication. It's about finding those points of connection and building from there.

Finding common ground isn't about agreeing on everything. It's about understanding each other's viewpoints and finding a way to move forward together, even when you disagree.

Seeking Professional Help

Okay, sometimes talking just isn't enough. And that's totally fine! There's no shame in admitting you need a bit of extra help. Think of it like this: you wouldn't hesitate to see a doctor if you had a physical problem, so why not seek help for your relationship? A therapist can provide a safe space to explore your doubts, help you communicate more effectively, and offer tools to navigate tricky situations. I've considered it myself a few times, and honestly, just knowing it's an option can be a comfort.

Here's a few reasons to consider therapy:

• Recurring arguments that never seem to get resolved.

• Difficulty communicating your needs and feelings.

• A sense of disconnection or distance from your partner.

Navigating Doubts with Humour

Right, let's talk about something a bit lighter, shall we? Doubts in a relationship can feel like a storm cloud, but what if we could find a way to laugh in the face of the tempest? I'm not saying trivialise serious concerns, but sometimes, a bit of humour can be the release valve we desperately need. Have you ever tried to defuse a tense situation with a well-timed joke? It's not always easy, but when it works, it's magic.

Laughter as a Tool

Laughter really is a powerful tool. It can diffuse tension, create connection, and even offer a fresh perspective. Think about it: when you're laughing with your partner, you're momentarily forgetting your worries. It's a shared experience that reminds you of the good times and the reasons you're together in the first place. But how do you actually use laughter when you're wrestling with doubts? Well, it's about finding the right moment and the right approach. It's not about mocking your fears, but about acknowledging them in a lighthearted way. Maybe you can try some mindset techniques to help you see the funny side of things.

Finding the Light in Doubts

Okay, so how do we find the funny side of something that feels so serious? It's about perspective. Can you reframe your doubts as something almost absurd? For example, if you're worried about your partner's snoring, can you joke about starting a 'snoring support group'? It sounds silly, but it's a way of acknowledging the issue without letting it consume you. The key is to find humour that's gentle and inclusive, not sarcastic or dismissive. It's about laughing with your partner, not at them.

Joking About Relationship Fears

This might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes, directly addressing your fears with humour can be incredibly effective. If you're worried about becoming boring as a couple, joke about signing up for a competitive cheese-rolling competition. The silliness can highlight the fear without letting it take over. Just remember to be sensitive and ensure your partner is in on the joke. After all, the goal is to strengthen your bond, not create new doubts. And if all else fails, remember that a little bit of self-deprecating humour can go a long way. We're all a bit ridiculous, aren't we?

The Role of Self-Reflexion

Okay, so we've talked a lot about doubts, where they come from, and how they mess with your head. But what about you in all of this? I reckon it's time to turn the spotlight inwards, mate. Seriously, how well do you actually know yourself in the context of your relationship? It's easy to blame your partner or the situation, but sometimes, the real answers lie within. Are you ready to do some digging?

Understanding Your Needs

Right, first things first: what do you actually need from a relationship? Not what you think you should need, or what society tells you is important, but what truly makes you tick. I had to ask myself this question a while back, and it wasn't easy. I realised I'd been prioritising things that weren't actually that important to me, while neglecting my real needs. It's like ordering a fancy meal when all you really want is a simple sandwich.

• Emotional security

• Intellectual stimulation

• Physical affection

Understanding your needs is not selfish; it's essential for building a healthy and fulfilling relationship. If you don't know what you need, how can you expect your partner to provide it?

Identifying Triggers

What sets you off? What are those little (or not-so-little) things that make your doubts flare up? Is it when your partner doesn't text back straight away? Or when they spend time with their mates? Or maybe it's something deeper, like a fear of abandonment stemming from past experiences. Identifying these triggers is like disarming a bomb – once you know what they are, you can start to defuse them. I know that ending a partnership is hard, but sometimes it's necessary.

Personal Growth Through Doubt

Okay, this might sound a bit weird, but hear me out: doubt can actually be a good thing. Seriously! It can be a catalyst for personal growth, pushing you to confront your insecurities and become a better version of yourself. Think of it as a tough love kind of thing. It's like when you're trying to learn a new skill – you're going to doubt yourself, you're going to make mistakes, but ultimately, you'll come out stronger on the other side. So, instead of running away from your doubts, try to embrace them as an opportunity to learn and grow. What if doubts in your relationship are actually a sign that you're ready for some serious self-improvement?

Coping Strategies for Relationship Doubts

Okay, so you're having doubts. It happens! But what can you actually do about it? Let's get into some practical ways to handle those pesky feelings.

Mindfulness Techniques

Right, mindfulness. I know, it sounds a bit 'woo-woo', but hear me out. It's basically about being present, like really present, in the moment. When doubts creep in, it's easy to get swept away in a tide of 'what ifs'. Mindfulness can help you anchor yourself. Try this: when you feel those doubts bubbling up, take a few deep breaths. Focus on the sensation of the air entering and leaving your body. It sounds simple, but it can be surprisingly effective. It's about creating a little space between you and your thoughts, so you can observe them without getting completely consumed. It's like watching clouds drift by – you notice them, but you don't have to jump on board and go for a ride. You can also try a mindfulness exercise to help you stay grounded.

Journaling Your Thoughts

I'm a big fan of journaling. It's like having a conversation with yourself, but on paper (or a screen, if that's your thing). When you're wrestling with relationship doubts, writing down your thoughts can be incredibly helpful. Don't censor yourself, just let it all flow out. The point is to get those swirling thoughts out of your head and into a tangible form. Once they're down on paper, you can start to examine them more objectively. Are your doubts based on real issues, or are they more about your own insecurities? Are they a recurring pattern? Sometimes, just seeing your thoughts written down can give you a new perspective. It's like shining a light into a dark corner of your mind.

Engaging in Open Dialogue

This one's a biggie. Talking to your partner about your doubts can be scary, I get it. It requires vulnerability, and there's always the risk of things not going as planned. But honestly, open and honest communication is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. If you're not able to talk about your concerns, they're just going to fester and grow. Choose a time when you're both relaxed and able to focus. Start by expressing your feelings in a non-accusatory way. Instead of saying "You never listen to me!", try "I've been feeling like I haven't been heard lately." It's about creating a safe space where you can both share your thoughts and feelings without judgement. Remember, it's a conversation, not a confrontation. And if you find it difficult to have these conversations on your own, consider seeking help from a therapist or counsellor. They can provide a neutral space and guide you through the process. It's also important to acknowledge whether your doubt is part of a larger pattern.

When to Seek Help

Okay, so we've talked a lot about doubts, how they feel, and what they might mean. But there comes a point where those niggling worries become something more, something that's really impacting your life and your relationship. When do you know it's time to get some outside help? It's a big question, and honestly, there's no shame in admitting you need a hand. I've been there, and sometimes a fresh perspective is exactly what you need.

Recognising Red Flags

First off, let's talk red flags. What are the signs that your doubts have crossed the line from normal to problematic? Are they constant? Do they consume your thoughts? Are they affecting your sleep, your appetite, your ability to concentrate? If the answer to any of these is yes, it's a pretty good indicator that you might need some support. Another red flag is when your doubts start to impact your behaviour. Are you becoming overly critical of your partner? Are you withdrawing emotionally? Are you constantly seeking reassurance, even when it's offered? These are all signs that your doubts are taking control, and it's time to consider getting some help. If you experience any feelings of fear regarding the safety of your mental, physical or emotional help, consider it a sign to end the relationship. In these cases, you should share your concerns with a trusted friend or family member, and get professional help if you’re unable to cope.

The Benefits of Therapy

I know, I know, the word 'therapy' can feel a bit scary. But honestly, it's just a tool, and a really useful one at that. Think of it like this: you wouldn't hesitate to see a doctor if you had a persistent physical problem, so why should your mental and emotional health be any different? Therapy, whether it's relationship therapy or individual counselling, can provide you with a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your doubts, understand their root causes, and develop strategies for managing them. A therapist can help you identify unhealthy patterns of thinking and behaving, improve your communication skills, and build a stronger, more resilient relationship. Plus, sometimes just having someone to listen and validate your feelings can make a world of difference. At Therapy Central we offer, relationship therapy and couples counselling, as well as more individualised therapy such as stress counselling, anxiety therapy and low self-esteem This treatment is available in London and everywhere else online. We use evidence-based interventions such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and other approaches to help you manage your problems and reduce your feelings of doubt.

Support Systems

Don't underestimate the power of your support system. Talking to trusted friends or family members can be incredibly helpful, but it's important to choose your confidants wisely. Look for people who are supportive, empathetic, and able to offer constructive advice, rather than those who simply fuel your doubts or take sides. Remember, your friends and family love you, but they may not always be objective. Sometimes, you need an unbiased perspective, and that's where a therapist can really shine. Also, remember to check out resources such as healthy relationships and mental well-being. Ultimately, deciding when to seek help is a personal choice. But if your doubts are causing you significant distress, impacting your daily life, or damaging your relationship, it's definitely worth considering. There's no shame in asking for help, and it could be the best thing you ever do for yourself and your relationship. Trust your gut, and don't be afraid to reach out.

Moving Forward After Doubts

Okay, so you've been wrestling with doubts. It's been messy, maybe a bit painful, but you're here, thinking about what's next. Whether you decide to stay or go, there's a path forward. It's not always easy, but it's yours to create.

Rebuilding Trust

If you're staying, rebuilding trust is key. It's not a quick fix, more like tending a garden. It needs constant care, attention, and a whole lot of patience. Think about what broke the trust in the first place. Was it a specific event, or a slow erosion? Addressing the root cause is essential.

• Start with small, consistent actions.

• Be transparent and honest, even when it's hard.

• Practise forgiveness – both for your partner and yourself.

Strengthening Communication

Communication, eh? It's more than just talking; it's about really hearing each other. It's about creating a safe space where you can both be vulnerable and honest. I've found that active listening is a game-changer. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and really try to understand where your partner is coming from. It's amazing what a difference it makes. If you are struggling with negative thoughts, it might be a good idea to seek help.

Embracing Change Together

Relationships are never static; they're always evolving. And sometimes, doubts can be a catalyst for positive change. Maybe it's time to redefine your roles, set new goals, or simply try new things together. Don't be afraid to shake things up a bit. After all, change can be exciting, and it can bring you closer together. Are you ready to embrace the unknown?

Moving forward after doubts is about choosing to learn and grow, either individually or together. It's about acknowledging the past, but not letting it define your future. It's about creating a relationship that is stronger, more resilient, and more authentic than ever before.

The Philosophy of Love and Doubt

Okay, so let's get a bit deep, shall we? I've been thinking a lot lately about love and doubt, and how they seem to be constantly dancing around each other. It's like you can't really have one without the other lurking somewhere in the shadows. Is that just me?

Love as a Journey

Love isn't some destination you arrive at, all sorted and perfect. It's more like a winding road, full of unexpected turns, potholes, and breathtaking views. Sometimes you're cruising along, windows down, singing your heart out. Other times, you're stuck in gridlock, wondering if you've taken a wrong turn somewhere. The doubts? They're the little voices in the back seat asking, "Are we there yet?" or "Are you sure this is the right way?" It's all part of the adventure, isn't it? I think embracing the journey is more important than trying to control every single step.

Doubt as a Teacher

Doubt gets a bad rap, doesn't it? We see it as this negative force, trying to sabotage our happiness. But what if we flipped the script? What if doubt was actually trying to teach us something? Maybe it's pointing out areas where we need to grow, or where our relationship needs some extra attention. It's like a little alarm bell, ringing to say, "Hey, pay attention! Something needs addressing." I've found that when I actually listen to my doubts, instead of just trying to ignore them, I often come out the other side with a clearer understanding of myself and my relationship. It's not always fun, but it's usually worth it. I think open conversation is key here.

The Complexity of Human Connection

Human connection is messy. There's no getting around it. We're all flawed, complicated individuals, trying to navigate this crazy thing called life together. We bring our own baggage, our own insecurities, and our own expectations to the table. Is it any wonder that doubts creep in from time to time? The fact that we're even capable of loving each other, despite all of that, is pretty amazing, don't you think? It's like we're all trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces, and somehow, we manage to create something beautiful anyway. I think accepting the complexity is the first step to finding peace with it all.

It's okay to not have all the answers. It's okay to feel uncertain sometimes. The important thing is to keep communicating, keep growing, and keep choosing love, even when it's hard.

Here are some things I try to remember:

• Be kind to yourself.

• Be honest with your partner.

• Remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Cultural Perspectives on Relationship Doubts

Ever wondered if the way we think about relationships is shaped by where we come from? I know I have. It's fascinating to consider how different cultures view love, commitment, and, yes, even those pesky doubts that creep in.

Societal Expectations

Think about it: what society deems 'normal' in a relationship varies wildly. In some cultures, arranged marriages are still common, and romantic love might not even be the primary reason for getting together. In others, there's immense pressure to find 'the one' and settle down by a certain age. These expectations can definitely fuel relationship doubts. Are you with the right person? Are you meeting your family's expectations? Are you on the 'right' timeline? It's a lot to think about!

Cultural Norms and Love

Cultural norms play a huge role in how we express love and deal with conflict. What's considered acceptable in one culture might be a huge no-no in another. For example, open displays of affection might be frowned upon in some places, while in others, they're totally normal. These differences can lead to misunderstandings and, you guessed it, more doubts. I've often wondered how much of my own relationship anxieties are just me, and how much is influenced by the cultural norms I've grown up with.

The Influence of Media

Don't even get me started on the media! From rom-coms to reality TV, we're constantly bombarded with unrealistic portrayals of love and relationships. These portrayals often set us up for disappointment and can make us question our own relationships. Are we as happy as those couples on Instagram? Is our relationship as exciting as the ones we see on TV? It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves, but it's so important to remember that what we see on screen is often far from reality. Media can warp our perceptions of what a healthy relationship looks like.

It's worth remembering that every culture has its own unique way of approaching relationships. There's no one-size-fits-all answer, and what works for one couple might not work for another. The key is to be aware of these cultural influences and to communicate openly with your partner about your expectations and concerns.

Here are some things to consider:

• How does your culture define a 'successful' relationship?

• What are the expectations around marriage and commitment in your culture?

• How do cultural norms influence the way you express love and affection?

Finding Balance in Your Relationship

Right, so we've talked about doubts, how they mess with your head, and what to do about them. But what about the day-to-day stuff? How do you actually live in a relationship and keep it healthy, especially when those little niggles of doubt keep popping up? It's all about balance, isn't it? Like trying to ride a bike uphill in a gale – tricky, but not impossible. Let's have a look at some things that might help.

Maintaining Individuality

I reckon this is massive. It's so easy to get swallowed up in a relationship, to become 'we' instead of 'me and you'. But losing yourself? That's a recipe for disaster. I've seen it happen to mates, and it's never pretty. You need your own space, your own hobbies, your own mates. Don't ditch your book club just because your partner hates reading. Don't stop going to the gym because they prefer staying in. Keep being you, the person they fell for in the first place. It's not selfish; it's essential. It's about having your own identity, and that makes you a more interesting and fulfilled person, which, in turn, makes you a better partner.

Shared Goals and Values

Okay, so you need your own stuff, but you also need to be on the same page about the big things. What do you both want out of life? Do you want kids? Where do you want to live? What are your core values? If you're miles apart on these things, it's going to cause friction, no doubt about it. It doesn't mean you have to agree on everything, but you need to have a shared vision for the future. I think it's about finding that sweet spot where you can support each other's dreams while still working towards something together. It's like being in a band – you all have your own instruments, but you're playing the same tune. If you are experiencing relationship doubts, it's important to address them.

Creating a Healthy Dynamic

This is the tricky bit, isn't it? What does a 'healthy dynamic' even look like? I think it's about respect, trust, and open communication. It's about being able to talk about anything, even the difficult stuff, without fear of judgement. It's about supporting each other, celebrating each other's successes, and being there for each other when things get tough. It's also about setting boundaries and respecting each other's needs. It's not about control or manipulation; it's about creating a safe and loving space where you can both thrive. It's a constant work in progress, but it's worth the effort.

I think a healthy dynamic is also about having fun. Don't forget to laugh together, to be silly together, to enjoy each other's company. Life's too short to be serious all the time. And sometimes, a bit of laughter can be the best medicine for those pesky doubts.

• Communicate openly and honestly.

• Respect each other's boundaries.

• Make time for fun and intimacy.

In any relationship, finding the right balance is key. It’s important to share your feelings and listen to your partner. This way, both of you can feel happy and understood. If you want to learn more about how to create a strong and balanced relationship, visit our website for helpful tips and advice!

Wrapping It Up: Embracing the Doubts

So, here we are at the end of this little chat about doubts in relationships. It’s a bit like standing in front of a mirror and not quite recognising the person staring back at you, isn’t it? You love them, but sometimes you wonder if you’re just seeing the reflexion of what you want rather than what is. Doubts are as normal as that awkward silence when you’re trying to figure out what to watch on Netflix. They pop up, they linger, and sometimes they make you question everything. But here’s the kicker: it’s okay to have these thoughts. It doesn’t mean you’re doomed or that your relationship is a lost cause. It’s just part of the messy, beautiful journey of love. So, take a breath, have a laugh about it, and remember that every couple goes through this. Talk it out, figure it out, and don’t be afraid to embrace the uncertainty. After all, love isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about figuring it out together, one doubt at a time.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal to doubt my relationship?

Yes, it's quite common for people to have doubts about their relationships at times. Almost every couple goes through this.

What causes doubts in a relationship?

Doubts can arise from various factors, including stress, past experiences, self-doubt, and poor communication.

How can I tell if my doubts are unhealthy?

If your doubts lead to constant worry, jealousy, or fear for your safety, they may be unhealthy and could indicate a problem in the relationship.

What should I do if I have doubts about my partner?

It's important to talk openly with your partner about your feelings. Communication can help clarify your doubts.

Can humour help with relationship doubts?

Yes, using humour can lighten the mood and help address serious topics in a more relaxed way.

When should I seek professional help for my relationship doubts?

If doubts are causing significant distress or if there are signs of emotional or physical abuse, seeking help from a therapist is advisable.

How can I cope with my relationship doubts?

Practising mindfulness, journaling your thoughts, and engaging in open dialogue with your partner are effective coping strategies.

What can I do to move forward after experiencing doubts?

Focus on rebuilding trust, improving communication, and being open to changes together with your partner.